So.
Stress.
Fun. Not really. I've been dealing with a lot of end of school year things and as a result I'm under a lot of stress. Tonight, I am going to give a presentation on my senior thesis, and I have finals and final portfolios to finish. I know I can do this, I've done it all before, but it still is stressful and bothersome to have this sense of foreboding hanging over my head.
So how do I deal with it?
Lately I've gotten hooked on Animal Crossing for the 2DS. It's a game where you live in a small village, (Mine is called Hapville) and you are the mayor. You have to keep your villagers happy, and usually that means talking to them and running errands for them. There is also the opportunity to fish and gather fruit and seashells for money. That money can be used to build and expand your house, buy cool clothes, and create public works for the village. You can also take brief visits to an island to fish, collect bugs and seashells and play mini-games.
I find it relaxing to escape into an imaginary world when I'm overwhelmed, and I allow myself a little time to play when I've finished homework or a block of studying. It's a great stress reliever.
I also write in my journal. It's great to get my emotions out on paper and released out of my head. It also helps to get things written in a linear fashion so that I can actually prioritize what needs to be done and see that if I do things one step at a time, it will get done properly.
So please, wish me luck on the end of term and send me happy, relaxing thoughts.
Thursday, May 11, 2017
Tuesday, May 2, 2017
Graduation Getting Me Down
So, I've been working really hard on getting my final things done for school. I've been working really hard on my thesis, which has drained the soul out of me. It's 20 pages plus whatever works cited page that I have, and I've been working on it almost non stop for the past month or so. I've been working on it in stages, and now I've been working on revisions and polishing the work, and soon I will be turning it in, all shiny and ready for my defense.
Last night, I was reflecting on all the things I was going miss about school. I know I'll miss the campus. My college has a beautiful campus. It has a lot of green space, quite a few trees, and in spring, everything comes alive with blooms and flowers. It's just lovely. In the fall, the leaves change colors, and it's like walking through an autumn pallet.
I'll also miss the little things. Coffee in the coffee shop on campus. The smell of printer toner when I print out my papers in the library. The smell of old books in the back of the library. The kindness of my professors. I'll miss all of it. I am so grateful that I had it to begin with.
Hopefully, I'll have less stress soon-ish, and be able to update things more often. Wish me luck that I don't finally lose my mind around finals.
Last night, I was reflecting on all the things I was going miss about school. I know I'll miss the campus. My college has a beautiful campus. It has a lot of green space, quite a few trees, and in spring, everything comes alive with blooms and flowers. It's just lovely. In the fall, the leaves change colors, and it's like walking through an autumn pallet.
I'll also miss the little things. Coffee in the coffee shop on campus. The smell of printer toner when I print out my papers in the library. The smell of old books in the back of the library. The kindness of my professors. I'll miss all of it. I am so grateful that I had it to begin with.
Hopefully, I'll have less stress soon-ish, and be able to update things more often. Wish me luck that I don't finally lose my mind around finals.
Monday, April 10, 2017
I'm sorry
I'm sorry I haven't posted much lately. Bad blogger, no caffeine for me. My only explanation is that I've been ill and I've been pretty bogged down with writing and preparing for graduation. I'm still pretty amazed that I'm on track to earn my bachelor's degree, and in some ways that realization has not hit me yet. I've just been too busy with my thesis, Chaucer, and other bits and pieces of homework that have left me stressed.
I started my return to school by realizing that I didn't want to spend time trying to find another customer service job somewhere on the phone, listening to people complain and moan about something trivial any more. It's not that I don't have any respect for people who are customer service oriented, I do. I am usually one of those people. It's just that I was hoping I could find a job doing something I really enjoy. And what I really enjoy is writing.
I had been fired from GoDaddy for attendance issues, which were due to chronic health issues and things related to taking care of my father. It was the last customer service job I had before I started going back to school. Prior to that, I'd worked customer service positions for about a decade or so after my first failed stint at college.
I decided that I wanted to do something, anything else. So, I applied to go to a local community college, and I attended school there, hoping that I could go on to another school to earn my Bachelor's degree.During my time at the community college, I ended up diagnosed with cancer, had surgery to remove it, and my father passed away.
After missing one term to heal up from my surgery and to help with taking care of my dad's funeral, I was able to graduate and then I moved on to my current school. I had thought that I was suited for Social Work, but one term convinced me that it wasn't the case. I decided to switch my major to English. I'm glad that I did. I've always wanted to be a writer, and I don't think any other major would have suited me as well.
Now, I'm almost done with school. All that's left is finishing my thesis, finishing my other classes, and walking across the stage to get that diploma. I am going to miss my teachers, my friends, but I think most of all, I'll miss the experiences of being a student. I really enjoyed spending time studying, learning new things, and being someplace where learning is treasured. I'll also miss my campus. I go to school on a beautiful campus, and I'll miss the change in seasons there.
I'm hopeful that this is just the beginning for me. And I'm looking forward to see what happens next.
I started my return to school by realizing that I didn't want to spend time trying to find another customer service job somewhere on the phone, listening to people complain and moan about something trivial any more. It's not that I don't have any respect for people who are customer service oriented, I do. I am usually one of those people. It's just that I was hoping I could find a job doing something I really enjoy. And what I really enjoy is writing.
I had been fired from GoDaddy for attendance issues, which were due to chronic health issues and things related to taking care of my father. It was the last customer service job I had before I started going back to school. Prior to that, I'd worked customer service positions for about a decade or so after my first failed stint at college.
I decided that I wanted to do something, anything else. So, I applied to go to a local community college, and I attended school there, hoping that I could go on to another school to earn my Bachelor's degree.During my time at the community college, I ended up diagnosed with cancer, had surgery to remove it, and my father passed away.
After missing one term to heal up from my surgery and to help with taking care of my dad's funeral, I was able to graduate and then I moved on to my current school. I had thought that I was suited for Social Work, but one term convinced me that it wasn't the case. I decided to switch my major to English. I'm glad that I did. I've always wanted to be a writer, and I don't think any other major would have suited me as well.
Now, I'm almost done with school. All that's left is finishing my thesis, finishing my other classes, and walking across the stage to get that diploma. I am going to miss my teachers, my friends, but I think most of all, I'll miss the experiences of being a student. I really enjoyed spending time studying, learning new things, and being someplace where learning is treasured. I'll also miss my campus. I go to school on a beautiful campus, and I'll miss the change in seasons there.
I'm hopeful that this is just the beginning for me. And I'm looking forward to see what happens next.
Monday, March 13, 2017
Things I've noticed...
While dealing with the death cold from Mars this past week...
First of all, being an adult with an illness is a far different thing than being a child with an illness. Being a child with an illness gets you cuddles, time playing video games, and time away from school. Which means watching "The Price is Right" while drinking OJ and eating cereal in your PJ's. Being an adult with an illness gets you the comment "Suck it up buttercup" and realization that you have responsibilities that involve you being dressed and half-way presentable. (That may or may not include drinking your own volume in coffee and other cold medications in order to function.)
Secondly, being an adult with an illness SUCKS. I mean, seriously. For the most part, we have to decide whether or not it's an illness that is serious enough to be seen at the doctor's office, and we have to figure out exactly how we're going to pay for it. If you decide to tough it out without visiting the doctor, you have to navigate through the cold and flu aisle at your local grocers. That sometimes means staring blearily at labels under harsh fluorescent light while the same song plays over intercoms on repeat. Being a kid means your parents make those decisions for you, and you get ice cream and 7-up until your throat feels better.
Third of all, (Thirdly? I dunno, I'm sick, remember?) being an adult also means googling your symptoms and being told it's some kind of cancer from WebMD or some reddit page, and being convinced that at any moment you're going to shuffle off this mortal coil. Being a kid means your parents get to worry about all of that, and you get to snuggle with your stuffed animals until the pink bubblegum antibiotics take effect and you have to eventually go back to school.
Sometimes, just sometimes, being an adult sucks.
First of all, being an adult with an illness is a far different thing than being a child with an illness. Being a child with an illness gets you cuddles, time playing video games, and time away from school. Which means watching "The Price is Right" while drinking OJ and eating cereal in your PJ's. Being an adult with an illness gets you the comment "Suck it up buttercup" and realization that you have responsibilities that involve you being dressed and half-way presentable. (That may or may not include drinking your own volume in coffee and other cold medications in order to function.)
Secondly, being an adult with an illness SUCKS. I mean, seriously. For the most part, we have to decide whether or not it's an illness that is serious enough to be seen at the doctor's office, and we have to figure out exactly how we're going to pay for it. If you decide to tough it out without visiting the doctor, you have to navigate through the cold and flu aisle at your local grocers. That sometimes means staring blearily at labels under harsh fluorescent light while the same song plays over intercoms on repeat. Being a kid means your parents make those decisions for you, and you get ice cream and 7-up until your throat feels better.
Third of all, (Thirdly? I dunno, I'm sick, remember?) being an adult also means googling your symptoms and being told it's some kind of cancer from WebMD or some reddit page, and being convinced that at any moment you're going to shuffle off this mortal coil. Being a kid means your parents get to worry about all of that, and you get to snuggle with your stuffed animals until the pink bubblegum antibiotics take effect and you have to eventually go back to school.
Sometimes, just sometimes, being an adult sucks.
Friday, February 24, 2017
Bathrooms
Ah news. You never fail to disappoint me. It's not really the fault of the journalist. It's mainly the fact that people themselves are flawed individuals and subject to failing spectacularly on a regular basis. I often wonder if ignorance is bliss and I should just not watch the news...like ever. I then realize that ignorance is never an option, because life moves quickly, and you never want to just let things pass you by and affect you without knowing what's going on.
With the news of the White House lifting Obama's guidelines on protections for transgendered kids, it makes me wonder just who has the right to decide for these children what their identities are? Many parents of transgendered children state that their child knew from the very start what their identities were. Some parents have stated that they are the ones who decide. When children are born, doctors take a look at the external genitalia and assign the child a gender.
Looking through Twitter, tumblr, and just hearing from others, I've learned that being transgendered is difficult enough as it is. Many are already afraid to use the bathroom that fits with their "chosen" gender. (I've placed the word "chosen" in quotes because I don't believe it's something they just chose out of the blue for kicks. It's the gender they feel that best suits them.) Why should we, cisgendered persons, make ourselves the genital police and tell someone they can't potty because they don't have the right genitals? It's really none of our business.
Childhood and adolescence are hard enough. Why make it harder for kids to go to school and be able to feel comfortable in the skin they are in? Bathrooms are just bathrooms. People are just people. How hard is that to understand?
Wednesday, February 8, 2017
A Little Rant
I'm a Christian, but I don't consider myself to a fundamentalist. I find that trying to shove my belief system down the throats of others never tends to go well, and it actually is pretty disrespectful to others. I tend to treat people the way I expect to be treated and lately that's caused me to look at issues that have happened in recent weeks in a way that may be quite a bit different from my Christian friends who have supported Trump.
For instance, on Facebook, I've heard some people compare the recent immigration ban to the fact that people won't get into heaven without "vetting." (I.e. salvation) I don't find that a valid comparison to the immigration ban. First of all, this isn't heaven. The United States is far from perfect, we're just a country that at this moment isn't undergoing a civil war. People are coming here for refuge, not because they believe this is some type of paradise. Refugees are escaping to other countries as well, not just ours. Secondly, refugees already undergo a detailed vetting process to be able to come into the United States. Many of the people who were subject to the ban already had been in the United States and held visas. Some were green card holders. They had already been vetted. It is a complex process to get a green card and be accepted as a permanent resident. A friend of mine and her husband can attest to that. Thirdly, if we're going to pull religion into this, here's what the bible has to say:
Luke 10:25-37
Luke 3:11
Matthew 25: 35-40
1 John 3:17
So that comparison is invalid. If you're going to ask "What would Jesus do?" this is what he'd do. He'd feed the hungry, clothe the poor, welcome the little children unto Him, and probably take out after congress with a bull whip and overturn tables at the marketplaces.
Honestly, this land doesn't belong to us to begin with. It was forcibly taken, invaded by outsiders and then the residents were forced from their homes, killed, poisoned, and we have the audacity to say "Nope, not here. We don't want you here." Um. Okay.
I'm so over people trying to convince me that the Tangerine Nightmare was the moral choice. You won't convince me. Maybe you're trying to convince yourselves. A man who wants to take away healthcare from those who can't afford it, who wants to strip our rights away, and who refuses to help people who desperately needs it is not a man with morals. He wants to take away business regulations that harm his buddies (look it up, he said it directly) but make businesses more transparent in their dealings with the public. The ban that was taken down didn't affect any countries that held financial interests of his, or had harbored terrorists that affected the US and our interests. (Again, you can look that info up) He was sued for sexual assault on a minor, and accused of such from adults as well.
So comparing Trump to "God" and using the United States as a metaphor for Heaven is an unfair and incorrect comparison.
For instance, on Facebook, I've heard some people compare the recent immigration ban to the fact that people won't get into heaven without "vetting." (I.e. salvation) I don't find that a valid comparison to the immigration ban. First of all, this isn't heaven. The United States is far from perfect, we're just a country that at this moment isn't undergoing a civil war. People are coming here for refuge, not because they believe this is some type of paradise. Refugees are escaping to other countries as well, not just ours. Secondly, refugees already undergo a detailed vetting process to be able to come into the United States. Many of the people who were subject to the ban already had been in the United States and held visas. Some were green card holders. They had already been vetted. It is a complex process to get a green card and be accepted as a permanent resident. A friend of mine and her husband can attest to that. Thirdly, if we're going to pull religion into this, here's what the bible has to say:
Luke 10:25-37
Luke 3:11
Matthew 25: 35-40
1 John 3:17
So that comparison is invalid. If you're going to ask "What would Jesus do?" this is what he'd do. He'd feed the hungry, clothe the poor, welcome the little children unto Him, and probably take out after congress with a bull whip and overturn tables at the marketplaces.
Honestly, this land doesn't belong to us to begin with. It was forcibly taken, invaded by outsiders and then the residents were forced from their homes, killed, poisoned, and we have the audacity to say "Nope, not here. We don't want you here." Um. Okay.
I'm so over people trying to convince me that the Tangerine Nightmare was the moral choice. You won't convince me. Maybe you're trying to convince yourselves. A man who wants to take away healthcare from those who can't afford it, who wants to strip our rights away, and who refuses to help people who desperately needs it is not a man with morals. He wants to take away business regulations that harm his buddies (look it up, he said it directly) but make businesses more transparent in their dealings with the public. The ban that was taken down didn't affect any countries that held financial interests of his, or had harbored terrorists that affected the US and our interests. (Again, you can look that info up) He was sued for sexual assault on a minor, and accused of such from adults as well.
So comparing Trump to "God" and using the United States as a metaphor for Heaven is an unfair and incorrect comparison.
Monday, February 6, 2017
First Post, First Post
Well, welcome to my new-ish blog. I've been encouraged to set up a new blog by a teacher of mine, and I've had blogs before. I spent a lot of time on LiveJournal back in the day, so I'm not a newbie to the whole blogosphere. I also spend way too much time on Twitter and tumblr for my own good, and I also haunt the hallowed halls of Facebook,
As for my analog life, I'm currently a non-traditional student at a local private college. I'm majoring in English with a creative writing minor. I have a cat, and a mom, and a lot of friends that I'm lucky to be surrounded by on a regular basis.
Hopefully, in the future, you'll see some regular posts about my life, my joys, and my current hobbies, but I wanted to at least introduce myself for now.
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